Within a short time span, two young women killed themselves in Brazil after men disclosed intimate videos and photos of them on social networks, thrusting the issue of revenge porn and leaked sex tapes back into the spotlight.
[1]Messages left by Júlia Rebeca on her Twitter profile (@coejuju). Translation:
“I am afraid but I think is goodbye forever”
“I love you, I'm sorry because I'm not the perfect daughter, but I tried. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you so much…”
“Soon it all be over”
One of the cases occurred in the city of Parnaíba, Piauí on 10 November. Julia Rebeca, 17 years old, recorded a video in which she participated in a sex scene with a boy and another girl, and it was later released via mobile messaging application WhatsApp– a tool that is increasingly being used [2] in Brazil to disseminate intimate videos. The video eventually began to be shared on the Internet. Rebeca even announced on Twitter her own suicide, and ended up strangling herself [3] with the cord of her hair straightener. The girl was found dead in her bedroom.
The other girl who participated in the video also tried to commit [4] suicide by poisoning herself, but was rescued in time and survived.
Another similar case occurred just four days later, this time with Giana Laura Fabi from Veranopolis in the state of Rio Grande do Sul. The young woman hanged herself at home, and was later found by her family. She had showed her breasts to a boy during a conversation on Skype, and he confirmed to police that he took a screenshot and released the image among friends. A friend of Fabi received the photo and warned her about what happened. She reported to police that Fabi was upset about what was happening.
The issue of leaking intimate material on the Internet made headlines in Brazilian media last month with the #ForçaFran case [5], in which an intimate video of a young woman was shared through WhatsApp without her consent, awaking the debate around sexism and the society's control over the female body.
But this time the consequences were even more tragic.
Sexism that kills
Some posts reflecting on episodes involving the leakage of intimate materials focused on sexism [6] and on the lack of character of the men who disclose this kind of material, often as a form of vengeance or revenge, or simply as a way to gain status among their peers.
[7]Slut Walk – São Paulo, 4 July 2011. One of the posters says: “Meu corpo, minhas regras” (My body, my rules). Photo by Andre M. Chang. Copyright Demotix.
Blogger Camila Pavanelli highlighted [8] that these tragic cases are the consequence of society's sexism:
O problema não é que ela transou. O problema não é que ela tirou foto enquanto transou. O problema não é que o ex-namorado é louco e/ou mau-caráter e ELA deveria ter arrumado homem melhor. Em suma, o problema não é que ela estava usando minissaia, como costumam dizer em caso de estupro.
O problema mesmo é o machismo.
The problem is not that she had sex. The problem is not that she took a photo while having sex. The problem is not that the ex-boyfriend is crazy and / or an evil character and SHE should have chosen a better man. In sum, the problem is not that she was wearing miniskirt, as people use to say in the case of rape. The problem is sexism.
Pavanelli also reflected:
O que as pessoas não entendem é que sempre se dá um jeito de botar a culpa na mulher. Se transou, é porque deu, então é puta; se não transou, é porque não quis dar, então é histérica. De qualquer forma, é culpada.
What people don’t understand is that one always find a way to blame the woman. If she had sex, it is because she had sex, then she is a slut, and if she doesn’t, it is because she doesn’t want to give it, then she is hysteric. Whatever the case, she is guilty.
Lawyer Flavia Penido on her blog Lady Rasta also discussed [9] the issue, questioning the recommendations for girls to choose their company better:
Em uma semana, continuamos a ler e ouvir a mesma cantilena de sempre: que como os homens não mudam e a sociedade “é assim mesmo”, nós temos que ensinar as meninas a não se deixar filmar; que como “os homens (vocês sabem, esses menininhos grandes inimputáveis que não sabem o que é certo é errado, tadinhos deles) dividem mulher em pra casar e pra zoar, nós temos que ensinar nossas filhas a se comportar” (não sei bem o que é se comportar – pra mim ainda é não roubar o lanche do amiguinho, mas enfim, sou moça antiga).
Tá errado, gente. Não é assim que as coisas vão mudar.
In one week, we continue to read and hear the same old chatter: that men don't change and society “is like this anyway”, so we need to teach girls that they shouldn't let themselves be filmed: that since “men (you know, these big and unimputable boys who don't know what is wrong and right, poor them) are the ones who divide women up between those who are for marrying and those who are just for fun, we need to teach our girls to behave well” (I don’t know what it is to behave well – for me it is still don't steal your friend's snack, but anyway, I’m an old girl). This is wrong, people. This is not how things will change.
This perspective is evident by how the men involved in these leaks of intimate photos and videos are seen as prodigious and remain unscathed, while women involved have their lives devastated and are blamed and condemned, even in the most tragic of consequences.
On social networks, unfortunate [10] comments that profess contradictory morals are often found, many from women repeating the lines that “if she filmed, it’s because she wanted to”, or that the video “is not from an innocent girl. It was from a person experienced in sex”, as can be seen on the article Caso Júlia: Localizado novo vídeo de sexo e amiga tenta suicídio com veneno [11] (Case Júlia: New sex video surfaces and friend tries to commit suicide with poison).
Revenge porn
The revenge porn problem needs to be addressed quickly by society in order to prevent tragic events like these from happening again. Bills to provide legal penalties have been discussed [12] worldwide. In Brazil, congressman and former football star Romario de Souza Faria introduced a bill to criminalize the improper disclosure of intimate material.
But debate over the root of the problem why women are placed in this situation in the first place is urgently needed, as journalist Lino Bocchini wrote in his post “Quem é culpado pelo suicídio da garota de Veranópolis?” [13] (“Who is guilty for the suicide of the girl from Veranopolis?”):
Vivemos numa sociedade que cobra a cada instante que você tenha sucesso. E, no caso das mulheres, por sucesso entenda-se uma cruel e impossível equação na qual você tem que ser magra, bonita e gostosa mas, por outro lado, não pode ser “fácil”, tem que “se dar o respeito”. Tem que ser bem sucedida profissionalmente. E tem que assistir o exemplo de uma mocinha da novela das oito que, aos 17 anos, usa shorts minúsculos e rebola para milhões de pessoas toda noite mas, fora das telas, assume o papel de futura esposa respeitosa do namorado jogador de futebol famoso.
We live in a society that demands that you succeed every time. And, for women, “success” means a cruel and impossible equation in which you have to be thin, beautiful and voluptuous, but on the other hand, you cannot be “easy”, you need to be “respectful”. Women have to be professionally successful. And have to follow the example of the soap opera's young lady who at 17, wears tiny shorts and shakes her ass for millions of people every night, but in real life, takes on the role of respectful future wife of her famous football player boyfriend.
Brazilian women face this difficult dichotomy between placing value on sensuality and looking down on sexuality, and, as stated by Flavia Penido at Lady Rasta blog, are divided in two categories:
A mulher tem que ser precavida, se guardar, ser ciosa do seu “tesouro” (em que século estamos estamos mesmo?), que não deve ser visto a despeito de todas as câmeras existentes no mundo. Ela, ELA deve ser responsável, já que os homens, esses irresponsáveis, não entendem que todas as mulheres são iguais e “eles” decidiram que “tem mulher pra casar e mulher pra zoar”.
Women need to be cautious, save themselves, be jealous of their “treasure” (in what century are we really?) which shouldn’t be seen despite all the cameras in the world. She, SHE should be responsible, since men, these irresponsible men, do not understand that all women are equal and “they”, men, have decided that there are “women to get married to and women to have fun with.”
In a country where people deal in contradictory ways with sexuality and even with the woman's body, it seems to be fundamental to go beyond perspectives that reinforce gender inequalities and repression, in order to overcome this and other forms of violence against women.