Global Voices » Paula Odhiambo

Africa: Of Misunderstandings, the Best Laid Plans and Language Challenge

Paula Odhiambo — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 05:09:29 +0000

I know, I know. Months after my last post, here I am, sneaking quietly back into my Global Voices space to post another article like nothing happened, as though it has not been months since you last heard from me. I know you’re waiting to hear the chorus. Here it comes… say it with me: It’s been a while.

Well, let's get right to it, because if we don't, it will probably be a while before all men get to understand what Kenyan blogger Wanjiku Ndungu is hoping they will internalize someday. According to her, we women are not as complicated as we may seem. For instance, her ideal man has three simple but very important qualities: he knows God, he is honest with the little and the big things, and he can listen. If, in addition to these things, he can loosen up and make her laugh, she will be in relationship heaven. “With men,” Ciku shares, “It's all mixed up!”

She continues:

A man might ask you out and have you thinking, ‘Wow, he likes me, or he wants to know me,’ only for you to find out that he was plotless or he just didn’t want to go to the movies alone, or his friend stood him up so he decided to call you!

Not all women are after your money! Relax!! And me offering to pay for dinner or lunch doesn’t make you less of a man, or it doesn’t mean I’m trying to show you that I’m independent. I just want to treat my man as well.

“I’m tired of my brothers using the visual creature excuse on us, a thousand centuries later. Please. You are the man, you’re in control, zip it!! And on the same note, stop ogling at me as if am a piece of meat you want to eat!

Looks like the misunderstandings do not end with men and women - Neefemi has a very important point to make in a stern message addressed to all tweeps who think they are better than bloggers:

So i missed the gist and i'm not curious enough to ask, but its another episode of war against bloggers on twitter. I am tired of it, the stereotype is extremely annoying really. I am a proud blogger, i blog about everything and anything. If i tell you that i blog and its reason enough for you to not talk to me, GOOD RIDDANCE. I am looking for any reason to not talk to guys anyways, so out the door you go, don't let the door hit you. Yes, i am sure my blogging has possibly affected my life ,friendships and relationships. I DO NOT CARE. You just do not have to read. Finish..

Her irritation with the blogger-tweep drama is just one of many incidents in this Nigerian unpaid intern’s life. She moves on quickly, sharing the other things that are going on. Apparently, guys are now sexually attracted to her (they might want to read Ciku’s post first). She has exams, and she got a piercing on her neck. One would think being an intern - an unpaid one at that - would mean no adventure, but this is not the case at all, as you will discover when you hit Neefemi’s blog.

Gee's 30-day challenge. Image from Gee's blog.

Gee is taking the 30-day challenge, and apparently, on Day 8, she was on a diet.

Well… kind of:

…Whenever I make egusi I always end up making stew. Plus I now added pasta sauce also and somewhere along the line, I remembered how my beans rocked so I added it. Its not like I don't eat all these foods at all o, because of the fat and oil it all takes, so I just decide to stay away or make substitutes like what I call leaf soup(with no egusi and palm oil), LoL. But of course this weekend the real deal was needed. Also that Hawaiian bread I said I wont eat again(because it is too sweet and once I start the pack of 24 rolls I finish it instantly), I bought it too this weekend, cuz my guest requested for it, even though I had more than half of it still. Finally there is something that comes with taking walks in the parks and one the riverside with your Boy friend, that thing is called Ice cream!

Laurenta is also participating in the 30-day challenge. Her Day 3 post is dedicated to the first novel she ever read, which is about the cunning tortoise who stole porridge in his cap and wore it.

First novel Nigerian blogger Laurent read at the age of 6. Image from Laurenta

She writes:

I have decided to go back to the very beginning, when my love for books and reading began at the very young age of 6years when i was in Primary three, we had this book club in my primary school that was sponsored by Lantern Books, they subsidized the prices of their books for anyone that wanted to join the book club and my parents registered me in it, every week we got a new book. This helped my understanding of the English Language so much, by the time i was out of primary school my reading speed was through the roof, i could devour an entire novel in hours, even to this day people marvel at how fast i read and write.

Sugabelly has come up with language challenge where Nigerian bloggers have to make an audio post in traditional dialects.

Here are some of the rules:

1. It DOES NOT MATTER how well you can speak your language. The goal is to speak regardless. So don't worry if you don't speak that well or you have to include lots of English words. ALL language levels are welcome.

2. Video posts or Audio posts are strongly preferred. This is because the point is to hear and enjoy the spoken language. Written posts are frowned upon but will be accepted too. ^_^

3. Please always provide a translation for your readers of other ethnicities! Translations should be in English and can be in the form of captions under a video post, or written transcripts for audio and written posts.

This is the transcript of Sugabelly's language challenge entry:

Hi …. It's Sugabelly… This is my post. I want to thank all the people who've said they'll participate in my Language Challenge.

Everyone please do your best because it will be really great for us all to hear all the various Nigerian languages on Blogville.

I'm really happy because we've already got a few entries in three languages: Sting did hers in Pidgin, Aseni did hers in Yoruba, and IphyIgboGurl did hers in Igbo.

Meanwhile, I've put links on the Language Challenge page so you can see who's already done theirs.

It’s quite comforting to discover that I’m not the only one whose plans have fallen through from time to time!

Africa: Women Bloggers discuss war of a different kind

Paula Odhiambo — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 11:44:48 +0000

It's been a while. I took some time to go and fight some personal wars. It ended up being quite a while. I'm back now and eager to share with you this blog roundup about African women bloggers talking about “war of a different kind.”

Tehilah has been away for almost an entire month – but not without leaving us with some wonderful warfare secrets.. Far be it from me to get all judgmental and hypocritical, though! I have been away for much longer, after all. Tehilah has been studying the book of Exodus, and has shared a few battle tips with us.

“There is a constant battle in the realm of the spirits,” she says, somewhat sternly. “The choice of soldiers who will fight alongside you is probably one of the most important decisions anyone can make.” She ends her post in an urgent tone: “Warfare is serious business! You must put away sentiments!”

Oh, if only it were that simple! We are women – sentiments are something that come naturally for us.

Take Wanjiku, for example. She misses the simple love of yesterday. She explores the possibilities of loving with a new mindset, in a new generation. Where did the innocent, hassle-free days go? How and where are all the people we loved in those days? What are the acceptable and unacceptable processes of the now?

…who said we have to be happy all the time ?? where is it written that we are supposed to be compatible ?? where is the fun in having someone who likes the same things, does the same things that i do ?? love is a mystery, marriage is a mystery how two people born in different places, different upbringing come together and became one… no its not about two half people…its two whole person….becoming one..mathematics by the creator of marriage and relationships himself !

. . .

if only husbands will read the bible before that affair, if only wives would read the bible before plotting and visit the witch doctors….if only we could teach our children how to read the bible from when they are born !!!
Imagine the possibilities, a new generation, a new mindset….a fresh beginning….
i miss the simple love of yesterday…

Rockhead cannot stand hypocrisy, it seems. “Does anybody hear” this young lady's heart? She went to get some juice, someone happened to be witnessing to the shopkeeper, and suddenly she was given a new title: Distraction. Can’t a girl just buy orange juice in peace?:

What?It took all my willpower to not march back there and give the guy a piece of my mind. This is a shopkeeper, his work is to sell stuff to customers…how is my coming to buy something a hindrance to God’s word? Was it because I interrupted them to ask for the flavor of the drink I wanted? Was it just becasue I dared walk there while they were preaching to the guy? Does this mean people should not perform their duties because the word of God will be hindered?
Exactly how weak is this word that anyone walking by can manage to hinder it?

She continues:

I felt so judged, I felt like they were those Pharisees I read about in the Bible. The weird part is that I am saved. I’m not lost or Godless. Is it because I wasn’t dressed like a Christian? What is the dress code for Christians anyway?

Talking to them would have probably not helped. I would have come out sounding like I needed to prove a point (and been late to work and forgotten my drink, maybe).

As we read her blog entry, we can conclude with her that many times, the biggest hypocrite is that girl in the mirror.

Africa: Blogging And Walking With God

Paula Odhiambo — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 13:16:22 +0000

It has been a while, but as with most things, blogging did not wait for life to catch up with it – it can be said that blogging helped to keep many sane as they weather the storms that life brings them. Through struggles and fears and laughter and tears, African women have continued to tell their stories and to share their walk with God. 2008 was a year of growth for many. It follows, then, that 2009 will be a year of maturity.

Chichi, who is Surviving on Grace, shares a valid lesson learned from a bruise on her light skin:

…why are we so adamant, so stubborn some times to go to Jesus for help. Why do we tend to feel on other occassions that he just can't understand where we are, and what we are facing, or even allowing guilt to make us feel we do not deserve to go to him and cry out “I HAVE MESSED UP. HELP ME!”

When we cry out for help, the Lord perfects that which concerns us, as Gomer will confidently tell you. She learns a lesson in time management while she is unwell at home and cannot make it to work. She longs for her bed but realizes that she has been doing way more sleeping than her pastor recommends:

I need to fix up sharpish tho cos I have really begun to notice that lately I sleep wayyy too much..Im talking at least 8 hrs a night or else my body aint happy. This is bad for someone as young as me. My Pastor is always going on about how a Christian should only sleep roughly 5hrs every nite- evrything else is counterproductive….

Rita asks us twelve questions every woman should ask while preparing for her king, and then gives her reasons for asking them:

Beloved, I am not giving you a checklist or a guide. I am simply saying 2 things:

1. As you prepare for your king, you need to look beyond the physical and satisfying your current wants. Imagine 3 years with him.
2. For the guys, I am sure you want a “queen” but you have to start preparing for her. She probably has her checklist.

She probably does! But while she waits, she should learn how to manage her time, and when it gets too hard, she should not be ashamed to cry out for help.

Africa: Summer Reflections (Thoughts from Mothers)

Paula Odhiambo — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 09:16:42 +0000

At what age should we begin to encourage compassion and giving in children? Isabella was shocked when one day, her daughter came home from camp and announced that she (Isabella) was a grandmother.

Obviously there was something I was missing, she could not have been pregnant and given birth while away at camp!! I could not guess how.

Well, it did not take too long for Isabella to find out what this grandmother business was about: together with a friend, her daughter had adopted a child. “His name is Miguel from the Democratic Republic and I am sure it must be the Congo”. When she did, she decided to support her daughter. “I was 6 years older than she is now when I had such dreams and there was not a soul to encourage me,” she says.

Ashe.Selah ponders talking about sex with her children, and gets candid about her own experiences.

We escaped to tell the truth another day. And tell it we must, especially with all of our talks about honesty and how Mama and Daddy aren’t perfect. But this scene took my mind back to those days. Outta Mama’s house, on my own in college. Boy, was I a trip. Couldn’t seem to spell abstinence. It was like I was on Soul Train at the scramble board arranging letters — the “i” was missing. My approach to sexuality was both dangerous and unhealthy - to my physical and emotional well-being.

And, in closing, with joy in my heart, I announce: It’s another girl (with a ’fro?) for The Girl With A ’Fro! And, as she warns, it may take a while before we get another post from her…

I probably will have time to blog, but I’d much rather just sit and gaze at my daughter, inhale her beautiful heavenly baby scent and just marvel at the goodness of God in creating us the way He has :)

May God bless our mothers – their arms hold the future generation; their words counsel them; their eyes watch over them; their prayers keep them in check; their God protects and seals them!

Africa: Hope Supersedes All

Paula Odhiambo — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 07:24:03 +0000

Women love to share their experiences and express themselves, but no clock will wait for them to sit and share every detail with each other - not even if they do it on their blogs. Life must go on.

Life means the hustle and bustle of everyday activities, the exhilaration of new experiences, and the growth pains that make us want to remain stagnant, but instead teach us that we have got to move forward, no matter what is going on around us. When we get around to sharing all we have learned, we see that experiences and emotions transcend borders and cultures. Not only can we learn from each other, but we can also relate to each other.

“Life is so constructed that an event does not, will not, match the expectation,” Charlotte Bronte said, and, judging by what Christian African women have been posting on their blogs, this is a credible statement.

Take Favored Girl, for example. After a three-month hiatus, she surprised her fans, and pleasantly so, with an update. She continues to chronicle A Girl’s Journey Down the Aisle. Her blog has slowly evolved, it seems, into A Young Woman’s Journey Beyond the Aisle.

Favored Girl tells us about the “inconveniences” she has had to embrace, thanks to marriage:

My friend and I shopped to our heart’s content and when we got tired; we went to a café and sat down to have a bite and a chat. As we sat down, she turned to me and asked, “So, FG I’ve been meaning to ask you. How is married life?”

I wanted to answer the question honestly, so I told her that married life is a lot of fun, but there are many adjustments to make. She asked me what kind of adjustments, and I told her that they were stuff you would never think of if you were a single girl living on your own and accountable to no one but yourself. I told her, “For example, when we were shopping just now, I had to be mindful about the clothes and und****ar I was buying, because someone cares about them”. She found that really funny and said that she couldn’t imagine having to put someone else in the picture when making the smallest decisions such as the clothes she bought or what she wore underneath. I laughed and told her that it does take a long time to get used to…

That's not all. Among other things:

I got a shock one day when, as usual, I was enjoying myself one afternoon when Mr came into the living room and said I was making noise and he wanted some peace and quiet. I stared at him as if he wasn’t making sense. How could he call my music “noise” and ask me to turn it off? Did he not know that listening to music was one of my favourite things to do? We argued for ages but we still didn’t come to a resolution. I just couldn’t imagine giving up listening to music because of him. He suggested that I should use headphones. I grudgingly obliged but it was just not the same. Now though, I have learnt to leave the room he is in when I’ve got my music playing. And I make the most of it when he is not at home and I can turn it up as loud as I want to!

What an inconvenience! But which is worse: Inconveniences, or Disappointments?

mystoriesmytestimonies talks about the guilt people feel about what she calls “chronic disappointment”:

Everyone else seems to be getting on with things. What’s wrong with me? We feel guilty about our chronic disappointment. Why can’t I just learn to be happier in my job, in my marriage, in my church, in my group of friends? You see, even while we are doing other things, “getting on with life,” we still have an eye out for the life we secretly want.

Well, what about Shame and Ridicule - could these perhaps be the worst experiences on the face of the earth? The Girl With A Fro, speaking about these two issues, seems to say that it does not matter – the common denominator is these things cause pain.

I am currently finding myself going back to a place of pain. A situation in my past where someone really hurt me and the feelings surrounding that incident…that time made me feel quite low – and very unloved because of the actions of this person…

I am not ignoring the fact that God was there for me and still is and He alone got me through. What I can’t seem to deal with right now is how to move on. I feel almost as if this incident if not addressed once and for all might carry on forever…and it’s been years already. Ignoring it doesn’t change the fact that it happened and yet that is what the other person is trying to do…I can’t live like that.

Believer has some wisdom to share. She points out that we should not dwell too much on what we are going through - headphones, comparisons and heartache - but rather on the definite HOPE that springs forth from knowing the One that we have believed to be Faithful:

I wonder what would have happened if….

Noah did not build the ark because people were laughing at him (Hebrews 11:7)
Sarah had considered her age (Genesis 21:1-3)
Job decided he'd had enough (Job 14:14)
Joeseph had chosen not to interpret the butler's dream (Genesis 40:6-14)
Ruth had linked arms with Orpah and gone back to Moab (Ruth 1:16-17)
Esther did not take her petition before the king (Esther 4:15-16)…

“Do not be afraid for surely there will be an end to the issues that we face and our expectations shall never be cut off,” she advises wisely. “All that we need is to hold on to God. His Word is true and if He has given you a word concerning something, He can never, never, never fail.”

I could never, never, never have put it better myself.

Africa: A month into 2008: Hope, Dreams, Living

Paula Odhiambo — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 11:27:07 +0000

2008 is one month old. Different African women bloggers are going through different spiritual experiences. For many, this is just another year, exactly the same as 2007, and 2006, all the way back to the day they were born. For some, it began on a high note, with excitement and festivities; for others, hopes were dashed and disappointment could not be hidden.

One day, In the Midst of Her felt pulled toward the book of Jonah and discovered that she is not too different:

One night after wondering what to read, I decided to read the book of Jonah. I don’t know why I felt pulled to it, but I decided to heed the desire and do it. I love the bible because it tells of the character of God. Here is what I learnt from the book of Jonah; I learnt of myself… the Jonah in me…

Jon 1:3
But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the LORD, and went down to Joppa; and he found a ship going to Tarshish: so he paid the fare thereof, and went down into it, to go with them unto Tarshish from the presence of the LORD.

I think of how many times knowing what was desired of me, purposely gone the opposite way. I look at Jonah’s story and say, “if God ever called me to do something, I would run to it immediately. But do I need to physically hear God’s voice to have this passion?. Knowing the word of God is hearing the word of God and we should be quick to do everything the bible states.

Some Broken Heart is going through a see-saw of emotions, first grappling with the situation in Kenya:

my heart thumps…thumps…but only weakly
Shouls i be afraid of me, or of them?
Am I my greatest enemy or are they my greatest enemy. 2008, and am scared that life is passing me, afraid that i myt loose, all I have maybe to insanity, i dont seem to have feeling no more, am going numb inside…….

and then dealing with the loss of “Thomas”:

I believe I can find love again, am young, am not some old woman who has been married for 40 something years, who just cant bear to move on, but resolves to age lonesome in honour of her late husband. I am a young, beautiful woman who fell in love with you, had the best years of my late teens with you, and lost you when we were almost there, and now am having problem trying to get over you, death has no mercy.

and finally choosing to trust God in all things:

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 8:32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? 8:33 Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.

Rinsola, meanwhile, is grateful for a new year and confident that God’s grace will see us all through the tough times.

I'm so grateful to God for yet another year, i honestly can't thank Him enough, but i pray i would always be thankful to Him. I also pray that we'ld all have numerous reasons to be thankful to God this year. I personally i'm looking forward to being a recipient of His 2008 BLESSINGS, I'm going to believe Him and His words especially those things i thought to be impossible (EVERYTHING is possible to him who believes Mark 9:23) and i hope you all are highly expectant this year also.

To my fellow bloggers, lookerbys' and readers let's walk through 2008 with God, believing Him, and that His grace, strength and love would see us through this year. Remember the challenges would come, but it is POSSIBLE with Him.

Faraja has determinedly decided to take the road of resolution:

I decided to call this my “year of surprises” figuring that if I just live my life with God leading me it would have to work and the end result would be more happiness because I’d taken the pressure of myself. Surprises can be more enjoyable than planning every minute detail…it was time for me to stop trying to control my life.

And Vee shares her longing to give birth to a set of twins:

I had a dream where I was pregnant with twins last night. I woke up so disappointed that I wasn't pregnant, which is why I'm freaked out! Like, how can I possibly want to be pregnant? I'm 25, shouldn't I want to hold on childishly to my independence and freedom? Shouldn't I be actually jumping for joy at the realisation that it was all a dream, and not be wallowing in self pity at the loss of my [phantom] pregnancy? Its official there's something wrong with me!… Abba, you know I really want to have a set of twins right? So when the time comes, please keep that in mind. But in all scenarios let Your will be done.

February’s already here, but we’re all still finding our place and getting our footing in 2008. It is bound to be an interesting year, and is already full of great expectations. Within the despair lies an indestructible ray of hope. Those who dream carry in them a longing for the fulfillment of their hearts' desires. If we could see the future, we would all know what 2008 holds for each of us, but for now, we hope, and we dream, and we live on.