Dear Breivik,

I am a young lady from China. A few days ago, I hear that you have killed at least 86 people. Tonight, I organized my thoughts and decided to write a letter to you while I was in the toilet. Forgive me for all my ridicules and the rough tone. But of course, I think it is unlikely that you will ever read this letter.

First of all, you are damn lucky to be born in Norway. You don’t need to pay anything for your schooling. Your government takes good care of every part of you, from head to penis. After you get married, you can get financial support for your children. When you are unemployed, you can get money and drink tea at home! Do you know that you live in an environment where you can make love without any pressure! In the Far East, so many people are envious of you! And your penis! Why don’t you treasure your life!

In the afternoon, I watched the report of the Central China Television and saw journalists gathering at your house. What a luxury place! With a few floors! You can raise a bunch of wives in such a big place! Then, the journalists followed the police to your farm. You have a farm! And how many hectares does it occupy! Do you know that in China, a farm is rarer than a factory! Do you know that Guo Furong and Lu Xiucai [note: two characters from a T.V drama] can only buy a cowshed with half of their life-time savings! Are you living your life properly!

You have killed so many people. That’s for what?

People strive for a good life and to age with grace. You don’t need to grow up with tainted milk. Although the fruits and vegetables in your country are a bit expensive, you will never know how they taste when cooked with illegal drainage oil. And they are actually quite delicious. Envy!

When you are lonely, you can go admire the Fjord. When you feel empty, you can go skiiing and fishing. Or, with a lower moral standard, pay someone to kiss and hug you; even engaging in a gay marriage is fine too. What more can you ask? I hear that your father has a house in France and he lives there quite happily. Why don’t you go see him, and treat it as an overseas trip? Do you know how difficult it is for us normal people in the East to go abroad?

I know from movies I’ve watched that there are cross-countries train tickets in Europe. I don’t know if they cover Norway. But in such a beautiful place, you can travel out of town by train together with your wife, eat good food and sing nice songs. How wonderful it would be.

Those who haven’t experienced it don’t really know what a hard mode of life entails.

I don’t know if you have admirers or followers. If you have, I advise them to go home. They are as blessed as little flowers.

There is a Chinese proverb, “If one is warm and well fed, one will think about wanton lust.” My classical Chinese is not good, and I’m not sure if “lust” here only has sexual meaning. Let us just take it as meaning evil. In my own words, you just direct your spare energy to the wrong places. Think about those African kids who have no ideas what food is. They just don’t have the energy to think about how to take revenge on the society. In fact, we have to blame this incident on the Norwegian government. Think about it: the government takes such good care of its people that they don’t need to worry about life. Silly thoughts come from idle people. There is a proverb: “man thinks, God laughs.”

I hear that you don’t need to die after killing so many people. I don’t know if I should congratulate you. After all, to die naturally is a luxury for many of us.

Because you probably won’t get out of prison for the rest of your life, I sincerely urge you consider to be a Chinese in your next life. Here, in the land of the Yellow Mountain, Yellow River, Great Wall and Yangtze River, life is complicated from the moment you are born. Right from the start, you have to struggle with tainted milk powder and poisoned meat. From an early age, you have to attend all those “interest classes”, learn English and train for Olympiad mathematics. If you are lucky, you will gain a ticket to go overseas, and return to the place you’ve been to in your earlier life. If you are less lucky, you have to compete with millions in the university entrance exam. After university, you will start thinking about friends and careers. You can only think about making love and having children after you have got a house and a car. After making love, perhaps you will feel lost, or the pressures of life relieved?

But don’t worry, life afterwards will be even more rocky. You child will arrive soon, and you have to start worrying about his intelligence and health. To enable your baby gain a head start, you just cannot wait but start to teach him while he was still in mom’s stomach.

Here I will omit 800 words, because you have experienced all those before. The familiar cycle starts again.

Do you think this is still not enough?

No worries, we can talk about yet another thing. In English, it is called surprise; in Chinese, accident.

Like Marxist philosophy, the supply of this thing far exceeds its demand.

Accidents come and go, let you fly and crash, and they are easily forgotten.

Perhaps a large sum of money will suddenly descend upon you at an ATM. Perhaps you will be crashed and thrown into the air by a speedy race car. Perhaps you will be run over by a truck below a tree in some remote villages. Perhaps you, down-and-out, sell fruits on the streets, and are beaten up by the city management officers. Perhaps you are selected by a mysterious boss to be his pet, and from then on you can enjoy luxurious brands. But perhaps, without such adventure, you just have an ordinary family. Sometimes, you may bring your wife and children out for a train trip. You know, you bring them out of town on a high-speed rail. Sounds familiar? Does that also happen in your last life? But wait, you guess the beginning correctly, but not the ending.

You eat good food and sing nice song. Suddenly, your train was hit from behind by another train.

The most exciting part is that you died, but on the list of casualty list you are still alive.

At this point, do you feel emotional? Now is Beijing time 11:11pm. I need to go to bed now. Let me distill what I’ve said into one sentence:

Welcome to China.

This young guy has committed too much sin. There is no question that he will be reborn in China in the next life.

Sigh. Let people in other countries experience the harsh life in China. They will then appreciate what they already have.

Norwegian prisons are nicer than the housing of most Chinese people.

The author is just ridiculing the living conditions of the Chinese. This will immediately be despised by people with belief, spirituality and consciousness.

This article is a typical example of Chinese thinking. Having a stable life with enough to eat is the biggest life goal. Therefore, Chinese find it difficult to understand why some people with good background will throw themselves into a revolution. This is because we have no religion, or secular life is our biggest religion. Although this article is satirical, it has nevertheless exposed the thinking of the Chinese.

Those with the ability to improve China should participate in politics. If not, spread justice, and correct wrongs when you see them. Don't just complain in this forum. It is a waste of your talent.