Comments on: Japan: When Your Wife is Sick

By: Tomomi Sasaki

Tomomi Sasaki — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:21:49 +0000

Hi MC Okii Dokii,

Interesting enough, I don’t recall reading anything like your comment on the BBS. Sad.

By: Tomomi Sasaki

Tomomi Sasaki — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:15:26 +0000

If some husbands/wives have seemingly illogical definitions of “pitching in” but those align with that of their partner’s, I guess that’s all there is to it.

This reminds me of something I read in a book by astronaut Chiaki Mukai’s husband (君について行こう). When she was in the States for intensive pre-launch training and her husband came over for a couple of weeks, their American friends said to her “Great, you can use some help!” and the Japanese friends said “大変ね、こんな忙しい時期に！In a busy time like this, you have to take care of your husband on top of everything!”.

By: Chris Salzberg

Chris Salzberg — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 07:57:28 +0000

True, but it just seems strange to me that buying something and bringing it home is the goal. Shouldn’t that be the baseline?

I really don’t think this is about male/female roles, it’s about common sense: someone is sick and can’t cook, so you (as their life partner/parent) should at minimum bring them what they need to survive. The company can get one of those slackers sleeping at their desks to fill in for you on the 9-12 shift.

By: angell

angell — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 06:13:01 +0000

I think, if the wife is sick, she may go to a doc for consultation and buy meds. If the doc says she must be confined at the hospital, off she can go. Husband just have to visit, nurses care for her anyway. If the illness is severe, that’s the time that the husband has to be concerned. Culture differs in every country. If you have kind relatives who can help, good. Ready-made foods can be trusted more than cooking in time of illness. How about hiring a house helper for a day, instead of letting the husband cut an important transaction?

By: MC Okii Dokii

MC Okii Dokii — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 07:29:00 +0000

I feel sorry for the soon to be ex-husband. All he had to show was some TLC.

By: JeanRae

JeanRae — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 06:56:55 +0000

I had something like this happen to me last week. I didn’t want my husband to stay home from work when I was sick last week, but I did want some babying.
He didn’t want to give me money for food to be delivered and he didn’t have time to make me food before leaving to work. So I cooked for myself. When he got home I was still ill and he wanted me to clean my dinner mess up. I said I was still feeling bad. He then went to say “if you well enough to cook your well enough to clean”.
I just don’t get it. If men get sick, us as wife’s have to drop everything we’re doing for days and when we get sick we cant even get a good hot meal with no string attached from our husbands?

By: Black Tokyo » Blog Archive » What would you do if your wife is sick in Japan?

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:57:58 +0000

[...] here to see the responses via Global Voices [...]

By: JapanSoc

JapanSoc — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 02:42:14 +0000

Japan: When Your Wife is Sick…

Advice from fellow housewives about whether one should ask your husband to look after you when ill….

By: Tomomi Sasaki

Tomomi Sasaki — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:33:08 +0000

Nah, he might set the kitchen on fire.

My guess is that she would rather he not attempt to cook because she would have to clean up the mess in the kitchen after she’s recovered.

By: Chris Salzberg

Chris Salzberg — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:09:20 +0000

“It’s a bother but you have to say ‘I can’t cook today so please buy by this and this for me’. ”

Funny, it doesn’t even cross her mind to say ‘I can’t cook today so *could you cook instead*?’.