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Caribbean: Message for Rihanna

The Rihanna/Chris Brown headlines have been capturing the interest of bloggers Caribbean-wide recently, not only because Rihanna is Barbados-born and bred, but because the whole issue of domestic abuse hits really close to home.

Adding insult to injury for most bloggers are rumours that the pair have not only reunited, but allegedly got married, prompting Cheese-on-bread!, a Barbadian blog that has long been an avid Rihanna supporter, to write a post highlighting “six reasons why Rihanna would marry Chris Brown”:

1) She wanted to see Chris Brown in a suit. Granted, it's the most mature I've seen him look, since he often looks as though he's dressed by a group of deranged Sesame Street muppets. That suit would look real nice with a pair of handcuffs though…
5) She's getting bad advice. Already proven.

The blogger goes on to say:

All last week the net was inundated with stories of her being back with Brown, married to Brown, pregnant for Brown, beating up Brown first and to be honest I'm over trying to figure out the truth from the lies.

I think the biggest problem with this drama is that both Rihanna and Chris Brown's publicists are spinning out of control. A lot of bs is being slung and I fear it's all for ‘operation save Chris Brown's career’ and not for Rihanna's benefit.

Trinidadian blogger This Beach Called Life is of the opinion that Brown will likely hit Rihanna again:

This was obviously no simple beating. I am no expert but I think Mr Brown will hit again and he may hit harder and choke longer next time. The message Rihanna is sending to domestic violence victims is that it wasn’t so bad. The message she is sending to abusers like Chris Brown is give her your best shot.

There is palpable disappointment in the regional blogosphere over the pop star's apparent unwillingness – or inability – to be a spokesperson for domestic violence. Another Trinidad and Tobago-based blogger, Attillah Springer, writes a stirring letter to Rihanna:

I don’t know if my words will have any effect on you, but I feel like I have to say it. The scary thing is that we are so comfortable with violence that your fans can get over Chris Brown’s behaviour. They say, small ting. Everybody has to get licks some time.

This is a country where we make a lot of excuses for men’s violence against women. This is a country where little girls can be abducted, raped, killed and then you hear people call in to radio stations and condemn them for being too ‘fresh’.

This scares me, Rihanna. Especially since women like you are role models. The epitome of this bizarre construct called modern woman. You, the post feminist self-determined Barbie, who have money, a top career, men the world over who practically worship you and thighs to make the rest of us women die of jealousy. You who are all these things can’t possibly accept such behaviour from a man.

I fear that the news of your return to your abuser sets a bad precedent to all the Caribbean girls becoming women who admire you, your rise to fame, your spectacular claiming of Hollywood. You, a regular Bajan girl that could be any regular other girl from any regular other island.

She adds:

We have this way of thinking that doesn’t always take reason into consideration, because we think we’re in love. We would rather take the occasional licks than lonely nights or trying to find someone else to love us.

And I look around at my other sister friends who are agonizing in relationships with men who either don’t deserve them…and I wonder about love and power and sex and if we will ever figure out how to balance them all.

If women like you can negotiate around and past the problem of abuse and add your voices and your strength and your ideas to women who don’t have the resources or the confidence in their own voices to break themselves out of cycles of violence.

Rihanna's compatriot Cheese-on-bread! sums up the feeling of the Caribbean blogosphere in one pointed sentence:

All I know is that if she marries or for that matter reconciles with Brown, she's going to squander a lot of goodwill being sent her way.

The image used in the thumbnail of this post, “Rihanna with Chris Brown (Explored)”, is by Express Monorail (Hiatus), and used under a Creative Commons license. Visit Express Monorail's flickr photostream.

  • http://akalol.wordpress.com/ aka_lol

    Nice summary of Caribbean thoughts.

  • http://primerpalabra.com Renata Avila

    I was writing about women fragile status around the globe a couple of days ago, violence against women is increasing everywhere.

    Domestic violence against women is neither random nor anonymous (the abuser is someone sleeping under your roof most of the times), many times the physical aggression was preceded by a continuum of verbal violence damaging the self esteem of the victim and is accepted as deserved.

    A daily doses of invisible verbal violence against women might guarantee the silence or the unlimited forgiveness of victims…

  • CSM

    My message to Rihanna
    I don’t know if you even read these comments but wanted to say something.

    I’m not here to bash Chris, criticise you and analyse why you went back and the victim mentality, the impact on your career, I’m sure you’ve heard it all (at least i hope you have).

    I do have to say that I was disappointed to hear that you went back and then to hear that you got married (true or not I don’t know) I don’t know you, you maturity level and where your head is at but if you are thinking that you can change him and work through this please know that you would have to be VERY emotionally mature to do that in a ‘normal’ relationship much less one that is in the public eye.

    I did not want you to make yourself a martyr for the cause of domestic violence but I really hoped that you recognised that right or not you are a role model to so many and that your every move makes a statement and while forgiveness is commendable, going back sends the message that it is o.k. for him to hit you. So right or wrong young women experiencing the same thing will thing that if you are experiencing it and staying with it they should not want better for themselves. You need not have come out and made any public statement, explained anything to anyone but just not reconciling would have spoken loud enough.

    It would show that in spite of how much you think you love him, that you love and value yourself more. The pain of a breakup will last for a time but the psychological effects can last for a lifetime, not mention the possible physical danger you risk when you’re with him.

    May the Lord continue bless you and guide you. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  • KAY

    I TO WASa battered women and until youve been in this situation you will never under stand . the sadness afterwards everyone saying dont go back hes no good he cant love you and hurt you like this . and all you think about is he alright ,i cant be the one responsible for ruining his career hell hate me ,iknow he loves me .RIHANNA IF HIS CAREER GOES DOWN HES GOING TO BLAME YOU AND HERE COMES THE ANGER HES GOING TO SAY YOU DIDNT HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE , and its going to start all over becauce you called the police. which you should have done .call jayz im sure he can protect you your going to need someone on your side please your young think with your brain think for your self not with your heart im afraid for you from an old fan im old

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  • armel YEKE

    hello they call me I’ma Armel Yeke Beninese’m 18. I’ve sent this message to greet Ms. Rihanna and all singer of USA.vraiment my prayer is that you are always brilliant among Americans artists. I want you write some word for me to know that you received my message. thank you

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  • Karen Patrick

    The only reason you hear nothing from Rihanna Is because her management
    has told her not to say anything…this is what Chris’s management should
    have done. Rihanna’s management team knew that this relationship
    wouldn’t last and they anticipated any future problems. So they have
    kept her busy and made her stay quiet. It’s a quality move on their
    part..I can’t hate. If makes her look good and Chris looks bad. But we
    all know that she’s deep in that bottle. voluntary bankruptcy

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