- Global Voices - https://globalvoices.org -

Arranged marriage & the role of parents

Categories: Popular Post, First Post!, One month, Two Posts, Three months, Five Posts, Six months, Ten Posts, One year, Two years, Five years, Ten years, North America, South Asia, Bangladesh, Canada, Citizen Media, Blogger Profiles

A sarcastic post [1] of a vibrant Bangladeshi-Canadian girl:

If this daughter is not married to some Muslim guy (she is ‘permitted’ to bring a Pakistani guy *horror*) by next August, …she will apparently be seeing Mrs. Mother's dead face. If you want to save the life of a 40 something, attractive, slightly dramatic Bengali mother …apply now.
Applicant must be:
– virile
– a Bengali Muslim
– able to sign his name
– from a nice family who like to keep their woman on a leash.

People may laugh because of the comic elements of the post, but if you read in between the lines you will hear the wails of a free bird about to be caged. How can she confront her mother who had sworn such thing?

She ends with:
Apply now and don't let forever bind you together. Please note that applicant is allowed a leave of absence of ‘eternity’ from married life starting the same day following a wedding band exchange ceremony.

Yes this is the tragedy of many arranged marriages [1] when fixed arbitrarily by the South Asian parents. When parents go looking for a spouse for their child they usually consider superficial criteria like religion, ethnicity, financial condition and even horoscope. In absence of pre-existing mutual attraction of the partners or even some sort of communication and understanding before reaching at the final decision to marry, is horrifying for a smart and educated individual. And often they end up with a uncomfortable relationship they had never dreamt of. I hope Mrs. Mother reads her daughter's post.

Much have been discussed about arranged marriage here [2], here [3] & here [4].