Stories from Quick Reads and Humor
Trinidad and Tobago's Prime Minister has shut down the controversial Life Sport programme following the results of an audit, which uncovered the ministry's inability to account for millions of dollars in taxpayers’ money. The programme was originally intended to provide disenfranchised youth with options to a life a crime through sport, but ironically, the Minister of National Security alleged that funds from the programme were being paid to criminals. In a satirical post about the issue, Wired868 says:
Persad-Bissessar [the Prime Minister] said the contents of the Auditor General’s report into Life Sport would be forwarded to the DPP [Director of Public Prosecutions] and Integrity Commission, which do not have their own investigators, and the Police Service that, based on its record, could not find sand at the beach.
Roberts [the Minister of Sport] followed the Prime Minister’s lead by suggesting that the criminal activity was done by his employees and the buck stops with them, which…is arguably the equivalent of a motorist pleading innocent to a fatal accident because he closed his eyes just before impact.
Mahjong, originated from China is considered a national game. The fact that China's national mahjony team lost the the fifth Open Mahjong Championship in France and finished in 37th place out of 51 teams came as a shock to the country. Worse, the individual title was claimed by a Japanese competitor. Nanfang.com translated an article from New Beijing Daily on the reasons behind China's defeat.
It is irrefutable now. Uruguay and Liverpool striker Luis Suarez either needs a psychologist or a new dietician. Thank heavens Uruguay was not playing Chile.
Wired868 sinks its teeth into a post about the behaviour of the Uruguayan footballer after he bit an opposing player in his team's World Cup match against Italy.
Kazakhstan's most mischievous satirical blog, Kazaxia, is up to its old tricks again, reporting on the saiga antelope that has potentially ruined bookmakers worldwide by predicting the winner of the 2014 World Cup in Brazil with its timeless steppe wisdom. As Kazaxia writes:
A shaman contacted kazaxia about the psychic saiga – it points a horn at one of two lamb bones bearing an etching of the national flags of the competing teams to select the winner. The unnamed saiga predicts that Argentina will triumph over England in the final. Brazil and Germany will be the unlucky losing semi-finalists, with the Germans grabbing third place on penalties.
For the competition’s opening match between Brazil and Croatia the long-nosed antelope refused to select a bone, suggesting the game could be a draw. For more predictions you can follow @psychicsaiga on twitter.
Saigas, which are members of the antelope family, once roamed the Eurasian steppe from the foothills of the Carpathian Mountains and the Caucasus into Mongolia and Dzungaria. Their numbers are now critically endangered with herds restricted to areas of Kazakhstan, Russia, Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan.
— pete_leonard (@pete_leonard) June 12, 2014
Remember “Cala Boca Galvão”, the Internet meme that became a worldwide joke when millions of Twitter users started telling a famous Brazilian sports narrator and broadcaster, Galvão Bueno, to shut up, during the 2010 World Cup opening ceremony?
Almost instantly it was a worldwide trending topic on Twitter and people from all over the world were trying to understand what was going on.
People armed with Brazilian humour stepped up to elaborate with a fake urgent call to help save a supposedly endangered species of bird (the “galvão”), and asked people to retweet “Cala Boca Galvão” as loud as possible. This video created in June 2010 about the fictional bird that needs to be saved from the World Cup has more than 2.2 million views.
Read the story by Raphael Tsavkko Garcia from our archive: Brazil: The ‘Cala Boca Galvão’ Phenomenon.
Stand-up comedian Sourav Pant‘s comedy company East Indian Comedy has uploaded a YouTube video lampooning what a government-approved sex education class in India would look like. The video has gone viral, with more than 1 million hits in three days.
The video mocks a suggestion made by Health Minister Harsh Vardhan a few weeks ago that sex education should be banned in Indian schools (he later claimed his comments were taken out of context) as well as parodies how teachers shy away from discussing the issue in the class.
“Sex Education in India” created a buzz on social media. Santosh Kumar wrote on the East Indian Comedy's Facebook page: “The same thing happened with me when i was in school!”
Some like Sravan Kumar did not like the video: “Dont forget India is the country which gave Kaama sutra to the world.”
Charles Liu from Nanfang.com translated a local newspaper's collection of Chinese people's embarrassing stories of speaking behind the back of foreigners who understand Chinese.
Backing Brazil to win the FIFA World Cup? Trinidadian travel blogger Rishi Sankar explains why you shouldn't count on the host country taking home the trophy.
You'll want to watch France games because if they're on, they'll be lovely to watch, and if they're off it's downright hilarious. The way to get the most out of a combustible team is to follow them closely enough to enjoy all the details but keep emotionally far away enough so that the explosion doesn't singe you too badly.
MacAree also mentions that the French team trolled Usain Bolt after they beat Jamaica in a warm-up match. Here is a photo on twitter of the aforementioned trolling from French player Paul Pogba's twitter feed:
— Paul Pogba (@paulpogba) June 8, 2014