Global Voices » Humor

Argentina: Stand Up Comedian on Women and Catcalls

Juliana Rincón Parra — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 02:16:08 +0000

Argentinean stand up comedian Malena Pichot, best known for her webshow “La Loca de Mierda” has a new series, Cualca! and on this first episode[es], she shares her perspective on how women really feel when they receive unwanted attention from strange males like catcalls and genital exposure on the street.

China: Cats found in RMB100 Banknote

Oiwan Lam — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:32:49 +0000

Jacky Huang from ChinaHush translated a local story from Beijing News about the new discovery by netizen of the printing of a “worshipping cats” totem on the RMB100 Banknote. The cats' image is very comical, but experts said it was from Ancient China's the Warring States period (5th-3rd cent. BCE).

Israel: The Lie, the Truth and the Meme (of the Soldier and the Girl)

Carmel L. Vaisman — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:52:05 +0000

The photograph below, of a soldier stepping on a little girl, has been circulating on the social web for the past few days, claimed to be of an IDF soldier and a Palestinian girl. Wesley Muhammad who posted it claimed to have seen it on someone else's news feed with that caption, and wonders why it went viral from his page. Within two days the photo (now discarded) received over 500 comments, including some claims the photo is fake.

Yossi Gavni reposted the photo highlighting the main claims that the Israeli Defense Force (IDF) doesn't carry that kind of weapon and has no such uniforms, and that photo circulated mainly among Israelis. Apparently, the photo was tweeted last year in French, claiming this is actually from Syria's demonstrations and asking for it to spread. However, Arab blogger Omar Dakhane found the original photo (below), which is neither from Syria nor Israel but a street theater performance in Bahrain.

This story could have ended here with a lesson not to believe everything that circulates out there in the age of media manipulation and virality, but apparently some Israelis have decided the best response to a viral lie is a humorous meme. In the last 24 hours many photos replacing the soldier with different characters have been circulating on Facebook, initiated by 10Gag, the Israeli answer to 9Gag humor and memes generator.

For example, a photo where the soldier was replaced by a dog wearing real IDF uniform, probably also responding humorously to earlier allegations that IDF trains dogs to attack Palestinians. Other entities stepping on that girl included an empire soldier from Star Wars, the Angry Birds, the Android, the Avatar N'aavi, Chuck Norris and more.

By turning the photo into a meme, Israelis are saying in “social media language” that such a situation is ridiculous and fictional, although Wesley Muhammad who started the viral spread concludes: ”I took the photo down (even though that type of thing DOES happen in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict)”. In response, Shani Yaakov posted a collage of pictures titled “this is the true picture of the IDF” (below) in which soldiers are seen in positive and friendly interactions with Palestinians. As for the truth, as always, it's probably somewhere in the middle.

Kyrgyzstan: “Putin Is a Complex Bio-Robot”

Chris Rickleton — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:44:30 +0000

Arstanbek Abdylaev, scourge of the Kyrgnet, has struck again. Noted on Global Voices before for predicting a planet shorn of seasonal transition, this ex-presidential candidate and current head of the “People’s Academy” is back to tell the universe what he really meant, having been mocked and misunderstood by netizens back in November 2011.

Now, with the help of a new sidekick, a kalpak-sporting, silver-tongued ethnic Korean called Alexander Pak, he is even dabbling in political philosophy. The world, the pair told an expectant press conference on January 27, 2012, is run by figures who are standing behind the figures we think run the world. If that sounds a bit Zeitgeisty, then Abdylaev has added an original twist: Russia’s under-fire prime minister, Vladimir Putin, is a “complex bio-robot.”

Not much of this will make sense until you tune into Abdylaev’s first press conference where his utterance “Зима не будет”, or “there will be no winter” made him an overnight online sensation. Along with that pearl of wisdom, his helper, Mirlan Asakeev, suggested that life had “begun with the Kyrgyz”, and would begin again with the Kyrgyz, at the end of the year 2012. Adam and Eve, he argued, to the astonishment of the assembled hack-pack, were “63.5% Kyrgyz.”

This time round, Asakeev was limited to a bit-part performance, his coveted position as Abdylaev’s number two apparently usurped by Pak. Pak, whose mastery of Russian exceeds that of both his colleagues, proceeded to explain that the original phrase “there will be no winter”, had been taken too literally, and that actually it had a “big energetic and informational bloc” capable of creating a “moment of total quantum leap” for humanity.

A New World Order

Besides the assertion that Kyrgyzstan would be the “informational centre of the 21^st century”, Abdylaev revealed that he had forewarned the Kazakh and Russian governments of the political perils rippling accross the globe:

“Four months ago we wrote to the Kazakh ambassador – we said, you are going to [suffer] terrorist attacks – mass upheavals – they laughed at us. We wrote to the leader of the Russian Federation – Putin. We said that there would be war in Arabia, and they laughed at us, but there was [war]. Now my words are being proven, not by a historian, or an academic, or paper, but time,” Abdylaev said.

Where could the press conference possibly go from there? Well, despite apparently being ridiculed by the Russian leadership, journalists heard, Moscow still has a place in Abdylaev’s New World Order – chiefly as the brawn behind Kyrgyzstan’s brain. Since Europe will soon be starved, disease-ridden and submerged under water, he reasoned, Russia would have no choice but to turn East.

“Why are we writing to Russia? Russia and Kyrgyzstan will conserve humanity. That’s why I call Putin “a complex bio-robot”… We will give a program to the Russian leader, Putin, and he will do it, because he has the power,” Abdylaev said.

And for the dull reporter lost on the difference between an ordinary bio-robot and a complex bio-robot, Abdylaev elucidated:

With a bio robot, you give him a program and he does it, correct? But Putin is a complex bio robot – he himself does it.

Perhaps this difficult, semi-mechanic nature is the source of Putin’s reputed marital troubles….

As the press conference wound down, Alexander Pak summed the group's message up as follows:

This phrase [there will be no winter]… is also a code. Anyone who has heard the phrase “there will be no winter” has already received the code and they are using it, even if they are not fully conscious of this. That code contained here among the Kyrgyz should arrive in every person, and through it every person should come to a condition of over-standing; they will become more than human and they will be aware of their true capabilities and their real meanings as human beings… This is why Arstanbek [Abdylaev] called Putin a bio-robot. Barack Obama is also a bio-robot. Other bio-robots stand behind these people and behind these people are other people and today these people are all bio-robots. This code [there will be no winter] allows these bio-robots to become human and write constitutions for the future era, the era we have called the golden era.

So, what is this strange “People's Academy?” Aside from obtuse letters to world leaders, do they have any publications or academic accreditation? Increasingly they are beginning to sound like a cult, a fact that could get Abdylaev into trouble in a country where the state is often hostile towards obscure religious movements.

Inter-internet conflict?

On YouTube, Abdylaev’s second coming earned a mixed reception, both from local Kyrgyz Internet users and from the broader RuNet:

“In my brain after watching that clip I had a total quantum leap,” said [ru] underaszZz

“Who are they kidding, it has been -20 here for two weeks,” quipped [ru] alexxx8999 .

In among the good-natured banter, there were some seemingly derogatory comments from Russian Internet users towards Kyrgyzstan, repositories of the Russian Federation's rising tide of nationalism:

“Is there a doctor in the studio! Or aren’t there any doctors in Kyrgyzstan? How can they allow abnormal people airtime?” asked [ru] breeedfrtf .

“Who let them off the building site?” asked [ru] TheMacsander, a probable reference to the fact that many Kyrgyz work abroad in Russia as labour migrants.

“Judging by the commentaries, Russians differ from fascists only in their stupidity,” raged BeksKazama in response.

But other RuNet types saw reasons to envy their small, mountainous Central Asian neighbour, and took Abdylaev's public appearance as a cue to bash United Russia, the political machine that took victory in Russia's recent elections to the state Duma - a vote tainted by allegations of massive fraud.

“Kyrgyz wake up, don’t call the Russians to your aid! Otherwise you will soon have United Russia and corruption, in other words the whole bouquet ‘from Russia with love!'” said [ru] marysimon79 .

“You know, I think it might be worth going [to Kyrgyzstan], given that they don't have United Russia there,” said [ru] TheSarajPictures

Another less politicized strand of commentators made the connection between Abdylaev's metaphorical/metaphysical musings and Kyrgyzstan's Chui Valley, something of a weed-basket for Eurasian marijuana smokers during Soviet times:

“What are they smoking?” asked [ru] SuperSascha2012

“O Great Valley of Chuika [Chui-grown marijuana] Ototo – there will be no winter,” said [ru] Mariyajuri.

“Great Chuika this year, I smoked and [got a] quantum leap straight away,” teased [ru] Mikkado31

But whether stoned or sober, the “energetic code” of Abdylaev's “Peoples Academy” is drawing a few genuine followers:

“They are trying for us. We just need to become different, change our souls, become purer! It is great that they want to bring this to the people. There is no point picking holes in their grammar. Come, let us be people, brothers and sisters. It will be easier for us to live this way,” said [ru] psipolza

And truly, who would lack the humanity to disagree with such sentiments? Perhaps only the evil bio-robots among us:

N.B According to Bishkek-based citizen media portal Kloop, Abdylaev's second press conference has already surpassed his first in terms of online popularity. Once again, the catalyst for a spike in viewing figures was a prime-time slot on Russian satirist Stas Davydov's internet show “ThisisHorosho“.

India: A Disastrous Tour Of Australia

Rezwan — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 23:27:08 +0000

In the context of the Indian cricket team's recent bad performance Amreekandeshi has some suggestions how to improve India's fortunes in Australia.

Slovakia: Competition to Re-Design the National Gallery's Site

Tibor Blazko — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 23:47:48 +0000

In response to the 25,000-euro “minimalist” website design of the Slovak National Gallery, zajtra.sk started its own competition [sk] for the website's re-design, offering 100 euro to the winner. Authors are mostly students, and they often declare how many hours - and, sometimes, minutes - they spent on their re-design.

Trinidad & Tobago: The Value of Seniors

Janine Mendes-Franco — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:56:45 +0000

kid5rivers takes the Port of Spain mayor to task for his disagreement with a proposal to offer offer free utilities and transport to senior citizens, asking, tongue firmly in cheek: “Perhaps His Worship confused SCs who are worth their weight in silk with SCs who are waited upon because they wear silk?”

Video Highlights: Music, Indigenous Initiatives, Indignation and Wonder

Juliana Rincón Parra — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:44:07 +0000

This section aims to showcase interesting and recent posts in Global Voices that show the many ways in which videos are helping people tell stories all around the world. You can follow the activity by regions in our YouTube channel or by clicking on the regional header links.

Music and Indigenous Initiatives

Latin America

Brazil: Cultural Debate as ‘Oh if I Catch You' Song Goes Global

Music has spurred an ongoing debate in Brazil, as netizens realize they have a new cultural ambassador which they may not have chosen themselves. In this case, it is Michel Teló's song ‘Ai se eu te pego‘ which not only became the rhythm played over and over during the end of the year festivities, but has also crossed borders, even getting its own versions in English, Polish and Dutch.

Peru: Cápac Raymi, The Andean Christmas

In Peru, the Incan culture is still alive in most of the Andean region, and Christmas is a time when they have united their pre-Columbian traditions with the later Christian festivities. The festival of Capac Raymi takes place in December coinciding with the Winter Solstice and honors the Sun. Although the holiday is no longer observed as it was during the reign of the Incas, it has transformed into an Andean Christmas, where Christmas choirs sing in Quechua with Andean musical instruments and dances:

Another strong cultural group in Peru is the Afro-Peruvian community and they have also left their mark in how Peruvians celebrate Christmas:

Peru: Afro-Peruvian Christmas Music

The song “Black Christmas” by Cesar Calvo is a lament, where they sing to Baby Jesus who was born in a manger, but with a slight difference, he is black as the people surrounding him:

Washed by the night
Just like you and me
Born among blacks
the Baby Jesus.

Don't come down, Baby,
from your altar,
lest the master
has you whipped.

Venezuela: The Essence of African Music in Videos

African heritage in Venezuela has also strongly influenced the music, and online video is being used to spread the knowledge of the African Diaspora and Afro-Venezuelan Caribbean culture.

From Canada comes a video journalist with a project: To visit one country per week and to record the stories of under-reported minorities.

Video: One Year, One World and 52 Different Stories

So far she is still raising funds for this one year journey where she would be recording, editing and producing short documentaries from the road. A short video of her visit with the Embera indigenous communities in Panama gives us a promising look into the type of content she'd be delivering once her project takes off:

Video: Online Media by and for Indigenous People

Check out the list of 12 recommended films on indigenous issues that Indigenous Cry shared.

Indignation

In Guatemala, indignation has overwhelmed citizens after investigative journalism uncovered that the President of the Chamber of Agriculture of that country had children under 14 years of age working in his sugar cane fields. Cane cutting is considered very physically demanding even for adults, and the conditions under which the cane cutters work contrast with the growth of the sugar industry.

Guatemala: Child Labor in the Sugar Cane Fields

The video, made under the guise of a photographic project to make portraits using an old fashioned camera shows the workers, including children who work long days without even making minimum wage:

In Brazil, the indignation has been caused by the violent forced evictions in what is being called a massacre:

Brazil: “Massacre of Pinheirinho” Causes an Uproar

Urbanist and UN Special Rapporteur Raquel Rolnik reported:

Thousands of men, women, children and elderly residents of the Pinheirinho occupation are surprised by a siege consisting of helicopters, armored vehicles and more than 1,800 armed men of the military police. In addition to the exits of the occupation being blocked, the water, electricity and telephone were cut, and the order was for families to gather to begin the process of retreat. Determined to resist - as the repossession had been suspended on Friday - the residents did not accept the command, initiating a dramatically violent situation that lasted all day and that has resulted in homeless families, people injured, arrests and rumors, including of the existence of fatalities.

East Asia

Hong Kong residents are becoming outraged: the cultural clashes have citizens and bloggers in a tense situation where any event is cause for fury:

China and Hong Kong: Train Scuffle Ignites Cross-Border Fury

Hong Kong Rethinks its Relationship with Mainland China

While bloggers in Hong Kong complain about their stretched resources and bubble economy, seeing the mainlanders as the intruders and sharing music videos where Mainland Chinese are compared to locusts, others such as Grey Reporter see both parties as victims of the system:

Actually, Hong Kongers and mainlanders share the same destiny – to end the authoritarian rule of the Chinese Communist Party and the collusion between the rich and the powerful.

Wonder

Middle East & North Africa

Jordan: Let it Snow

Snow in Jordan had people whipping out their mobile phones and documenting the long awaited snow fall, even if it didn't stick.

But in case you are in a place where the snow does stick, what about checking out the video tutorial on how to build an igloo with just snow and a knife?

Eastern and Central Europe

CEE: A “Safe House” and an Igloo

St. Vincent & the Grenadines: Favourite Proverbs

Janine Mendes-Franco — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:11:56 +0000

“I consider them to be expressive and beautiful in a way that is so Caribbean”: Abeni blogs about West Indian proverbs.

China: ‘Anti-American Warrior' Gets Head Stuck in DC Airport Escalator

John Kennedy — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 18:00:20 +0000

“America is the enemy of all the people in the world.”

So wrote Sima Nan, one of China's most vocal opponents of Western liberal values, before he boarded a plane to Washington, DC, on January 20, 2012. At some point after arriving at Dulles International Airport, Sima leaned over the handrail of an escalator and wound up getting his head pinched between the handrail and an approaching section of wall.

Sima was put in a neck brace and taken to a hospital where he remains today, partially mobile and busy updating his microblog [zh].

The news that the media figure, who has made a career out of bashing the United States, quietly traveled there on the eve of Chinese New Year broke first online and, among other things, led to rumors that Sima had gone stateside to reunite with his wife and daughter. Sima has claimed that no warning sign was posted on the escalator and has said that he will sue the airport.

Sima, who was on his way to a conference, has been mocked to no end over the past week, as dragonwell summarizeshere at the Tea Leaf Nation blog, along with some of what he has written since confirming the news of his injury on January 24.

Image from Rebel Pepper

On the Phoenix TV blog portal, Canada-based blogger Yu Xiaoping has written on the hypocrisy [zh] of Sima's position, regardless of the nature of the conference he had been invited to attend:

刚刚听说反美斗士司马南在美国机场被人认出来还以为是有人在造谣呢，结果网上登出来伤者的照片。而他也在自己的微博当中证实，的确他在美国的机场被滚梯卡住了脑袋。乘坐滚梯不要将脑袋伸到外面，这是正常人都能知道的道理。每天都有成千上万的人往返于这个华盛顿机场，能把个强烈反美的人脑袋卡住，这显得特别不可思议。

Just heard that the anti-American warrior Sima Nan was spotted at an American airport and I thought it must have been a rumor, but then photos of the person injured appeared online. He's confirmed this on his own Weibo, that he did in fact get his head stuck on an escalator in an American airport. You don't stick your head out when you're riding an escalator, this is something all normal people know. Tens of thousands of people pass through this Washington, DC, airport each day, which makes it all the more hard to believe that someone as fiercely opposed to the US as this could get his head stuck there.

对伤者我深表同情，我觉得不宜在这种时候讽刺人家。对网上流传的他是与家人团聚，在未经证实的情况下也不好传播。不可否认的是，很多当年反美的斗士在中国赚足了稿费，然后一家人移民到了美国。

倒是有一点，大家不知是否注意到了。经此人个人微博的表述是去美国开会，而不是与家人团聚。虽然无法证实真假，我觉得这比他的家人在美国更发人深省，一个强烈反美的人，能够得到美国的签证，以工作的理由进入美国，而不是由于家庭团聚人道的理由拿到签证。这在天朝，你能想象吗？

I deeply sympathize with the injured person, and I don't think this is the time to be ridiculing him. As for the rumors online that he'd gone to see his family, it's best not to spread that sort of thing until the situation has been clarified. What is undeniable, however, is that many people who once spent years fighting America from China, have immigrated to the US with their families after having saved up enough through writing earnings.

There's one point, though, I don't know if people have noticed, that he's written on his personal Weibo account that he went to the US for a conference, and not to reunite with his family. Although it's impossible to confirm either way, what's far more telling I think is to know that someone so fiercely opposed to the United States can still receive a visa to go there, for work purposes in particular, rather than obtaining a visa for the humane reason of going to join his family. Can you imagine China doing the same thing?

龙年新气象。认同美国价值的人往美国跑，因为在国内受到了迫害。反对美国价值的人也往美国跑，不是因为在国内受到迫害，而是至少受到美国方面的邀请，这是所有以开会的理由取得签证的人都可以证明的常识。

一个国家是不是强大，到底怎样才能变得强大？就要看他是否能够包容反对自己的人。我们回顾中国历史，真正盛世的时期都是从大臣到老百姓能够胡说八道的环境。为什么？因为皇帝不怕有人谋反，因为你没那个本事，没那个能力，想胡说八道就说吧，变不了天。一朝皇帝只要是根基不稳，则会严格控制老百姓的言论，特别是控制大臣们的言论，采取酷刑政策，怕是有人谋反，每天惶惶不可终日。

Fresh into the Year of the Dragon. Those who accept American values have run off to America, because staying in China they just endure persecution. Those against American values are also running off to America, not for fear of facing persecution at home, but at the very least due to an invitation from the US, which as everyone knows is necessary to obtain a visa to go take part in a conference.

What is it that allows a country to grow to become great? You need only look at whether it can tolerate those who oppose it. If we look back at Chinese history, the truly prosperous periods were all times in which everyone from top officials down to common folk could all say whatever they wanted. Why is that? The emperors weren't afraid of anyone rebelling because no one was capable of pulling something like that off, and knowing that it wouldn't change anything, people could speak whatever nonsense they chose. Only the emperor of an unstable dynasty, meanwhile, will strictly control what people can say, exercising the most control over what top officials say, even employing torture out of fear of a rebellion, spending each day in a panic.

这位司马南到底去参加颂美的会议准备只身去舌战群儒，还是去参加反美的会议，去锦上添花，都代表美国社会的包容。前者是这个会议包容他这个人，后者是美国政府包容这个会议。只有包容才能使一个国家强大，美国不用担心什么，只有虚弱的政府才会担心，不敢让反对者进来。很多异见人士因为不堪在国内的迫害逃到国外，结果中国的护照不能更新，取得国外护照以后拿不到中国的签证，导致再也无法见到国内的亲友，其实这就是一种流放，天朝连文弱的书生都怕，你就可想而知了。

很好奇想知道这位反美的斗士到底去参加什么性质的会议，成果能否和大家分享一下，所以希望伤者早日康复，给大家一个真相。这一现象难道不令人深思吗？

This Sima Nan, was he on his way to a verbal showdown at a pro-US conference, or was he going to take part in an anti-American conference, like the frosting on a cake, a representation of the tolerance within America's society. In the case of the former, it would have been the conference tolerating this individual, and in the latter, the US government tolerating such a conference. Only tolerance can make a nation great, and America has nothing to worry about. Only a weak government would worry about something like this and not let its opponents in. Many dissidents, unable to bear the persecution at home, have fled overseas and found themselves unable to renew their Chinese passports. Similarly, once they receive foreign passports, they can't obtain visas to China, leaving them unable to see their friends and family in the country. What this actually is is a form of exile, and for China to fear even frail intellectuals, you can figure out the rest yourself.

I'm curious to know just what sort of conference this anti-American warrior was on his way to attend, so I hope the injured person recovers soon to share the truth with everyone. Either way, it's gotta make you wonder.

Russia: The Fake Political Twitter Account Phenomenon

Alexey Sidorenko — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:05:29 +0000

The Internet not only gives life to citizen activist groups, human bots or lolcat lovers; online anonymity provides perfect conditions for human creativity and humor. Twitter is possibly the best platform for this quality, and in the Russian context this involves mixing anonymity, humor and political reality via a number of accounts belonging either to dead politicians or to those that deliberately avoid publicity.

Faux tweeting

The first Russian fake Twitter users appeared long before other well known faux accounts, like @ArabicObama, @KimJongNumberUn or @Angela_D_Merkel. Some have developed their own particular ironic styles and have become integrated into the socio-political landscape of the Russian blogosphere.

Constantly gaining new followers, Twitter parodies represent a new literary genre: a critical, often sarcastic view on politics, provided from the historical/political perspective of the accounts' respective ‘owners.' Some definitely remind of the legacy of Kozma Prutkov, a fictional character of the mid-19th century, who mocked arrogant officials some 150 years ago. Meanwhile, some accounts (like the one of @LevSharansky) mock the opposition and the West.

The dynamics of the fake Twitter universe are overwhelming. Not only do the number of fake accounts grow, so too grows their audience. According to the follower count, the overall number of fake Twitter followers increased by 40,000 followers only in one month from 21 December 2011 - 23 January 2012.

Below is a chronology of some of the most popular fake Twitter parodies:

List of RuNet's Fake Twitter Accounts

Fake Twitter parodies

Profile picture of Lev Sharanskiy

9. @levsharansky [ru]

Lev Sharansky is a parody of a Soviet dissident (the surname refers to Ukrainian and Israeli political activist Natan Sharansky, while on the profile picture Alexander Solzhenitsyn is depicted). Unlike most fake Twitter personalities in the RuNet, this one is run by pro-Kremlin bloggers and mocks the pro-Democracy opposition.

Lev Sharansky's personality is often used in various online polls to discredit online voting (bots and human bots get commanded to vote for Sharansky in order to prove that online voting is easy to hijack).

Sample tweet [ru]:

Чем быстрее Урал, Сибирь, Дальний Восток перейдут под юрисдикцию США, тем лучше не только для россиян, но и для всего мира.

The sooner the Urals, Siberia, and Far East secedes to US jurisdiction, the better it will be not only for Russians, but also for the whole world.

Profile picture of @LeninRussia

8. @LeninRussia [ru]

This fake account of Russian revolutionary Vladimir Lenin [ru], is a Soviet cult object as well as the source of numerous jokes. The tweeting style includes references to atrocities commited by the Bolsheviks.

Sample tweet [ru]:

Судить людей и сажать их в тюрьмы - какая-то средневековая дикость. В конце концов, всех, кто нам с вами не нравится, можно просто сжечь.

To judge people and imprison them - it's such a medieval cruelty. At the end of the day, everyone whom we do not like can just be burnt.

Profile picture of @LeninRussia

7. @igor_sechin [ru]

Igor Sechin is a secretive ally of Vladimir Putin, now occupying the chair of Deputy Prime Minister of Russia. Sechin remains one of the least public figure in Russian politics. Exploiting this mysterious aura, his faux account mocks corruption and government officials.

Sample tweet [ru]:

Все хотят дворец за миллиард. Но только Путин нашел смелость его построить.

Everyone wants a castle worth a billion dollars. But only Putin found the courage to build it.

Profile picture of @tolstoy_lev

6. @tolstoy_lev [ru]

An account for Leo Tolstoy, the Russian literary classic, published philosophical quotes from Tolstoy's diaries wittily chosen to fit with contemporary news stories.

Sample tweet [ru]:

Как тысячелетия слагалась государственная жизнь, так, может быть, тысячелетия она будет разделываться.

As government life has been made throughout millennia, it will, probably, be dissolving the same way.

Profile picture of @SurkovRussia

5. @SurkovRussia [ru]

The fake account of Vladislav Surkov, former deputy prime minister, plays with his reportedly post-modern and art-loving nature, previously known as the “grey eminence” of the Russian politics, often going into literary explorations and drug experiments.

Sample tweet [ru]:

Если Бог зол, он насылает Сталина. Если Богу всё до лампочки, правит Брежнев. Но если Бог решил поприкалываться - на сцену выходит Путин!

If the God is angry, he sends Stalin. If the God doesn't care, it is Brezhnev. But if the God decided to have fun - here comes Putin!

Profile picture of @KremlinCherv

4. @KremlinCherv [ru]

Kremlin Worm is a meme created as the result of a scandal involving Governor Dmitry Zelenin who spotted a worm in his plate whilst having dinner at the Kremlin (read the GV story here).

Sample tweet [ru]:

Если бы меня пригласили в правительство, я бы был вице–премьером, ответственным за мелиорацию.

If they invited me to the government, I would be vice-minister for melioration.

Profile picture of @NikolayII

3. @NikolayII [ru]

This account is the tweeted diary of the last Russian czar Nicholas II. As in case of Leo Tolstoy's Twitter twin, Nicholas II mainly quotes extracts from his diaries. As many historians had noted, diaries of Nicholas II show complete detachment from wild political life around him while exposing focus on his personal life and personal experiences.

Sample tweet [ru]:

Завтракали в галерее. Вернувшись домой, читал, писал телеграммы и погулял.

Had breakfast in the gallery. After returning home, I read, wrote telegrams and went for a walk.

Profile picture of @alex_pushkin

2. @alex_pushkin [ru]

A poetic Twitter account resembling the playful style of one of Russia's most acclaimed poets Alexander Pushkin. It skillfully re-masters Pushkin's original rhymes to fit contemporary politics and make his tweets particularly ironic.

Sample tweet [ru]:

Ну что, пора. Итоги года / Привычно странная погода / Навальный, митинги, подтяжки / Год был не скучный, хоть и тяжкий

So, it's time. The totals of the year / Traditionally strange weather / Navalny, meetings and face lifts [reference to Putin's alleged plastic surgery] / The year was hard but not boring

Profile picture of @KermlinRussia

1. @KermlinRussia [ru]

A fake Russian Kremlin account led by an anonymous Moscow-based businessman, this even got into the Foreign Policy list of the best fake Twitter accounts and has managed to give several interviews, one of them in English. It is also one of the most popular Twitter accounts in the Twittersphere, having at the moment about 224,000 followers.

Kevin Rothrock describes the account's formula that can be more or less applied to the overwhelming majority of Russia's fake Twitter users:

..he regularly posts acerbic, ironic tweets mocking news stories about Russia’s leaders, often rewording the language of tweets by the official presidential Twitter account […], typically reversing or otherwise transforming the meaning of a prosaic Kremlin announcement into something embarrassing, cryptic, or downright evil.

Sample tweet [ru]:

We should make Russsia a better place to leave.

North Korea: Kim Jong-Un Looking at Things.

Lee Yoo Eun — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:29:52 +0000

There was once the internet meme named “Kim Jong-il Looking at Things“, a collection of photographs of Kim visiting government facilities the net users have gathered together to mock his authoritative posture. After Kim died last year, net users have launched a new version, “Kim Jong-un Looking at Things” as appeared in Kotaku site.

Trinidad & Tobago: Sidestepping Motherhood

Janine Mendes-Franco — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:10:18 +0000

Suszanna.com explains why she thinks kids may be overrated.

Belgium, D. R. of Congo: Miss Belgium 2012 on Gay Marriage

Abdoulaye Bah — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:24:18 +0000

The website Congo LOL reports that “On twitter, the hastag #plusoumoins (#moreorless in english) has created quite a buzz (in DR of Congo). The reason ? The answer given by Miss Laura Beyne (Miss Belgium 2012) on a question on gay marriage. “I think they [homosexuals] are human beings (…) they can do “more or less” whatever they want. I am “more or less” in favor of gay marriage. ”

Malaysia: Ministry Blames Google Translate for Website Errors

Mong Palatino — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 05:05:15 +0000

Don’t wear “clothes that poke eye” and remember the “Mongoose fight” uniform for official functions. These are some of the funny English translation errors in the website of Malaysia’s Ministry of Defense which made headlines last week. The errors have been removed already but not before netizens were able to discuss them thoroughly in various social networks.

Uppercaise reviews the translation errors

The dress code says officers and staff must wear “ethical clothing” — but at the same time “the dress code is not allowed in the work”.

“Ethical clothing” was required (although there was no code of ethics that the clothes must follow). However, the clothes must not be party-going or picnic-going types.

Every Thursday is “mongoose fight” day for those not in uniform. “Mongoose fight” clothing is also for attending “official functions that do not require the use of certain types of clothing”.

Men must wear shirts that are “tight Malay civet berbutang three” or five civets; with long pants but sleeves not folded, and shirts included. Women must wear appropriate clothing “worn neatly and politely in line with the practice of noble character”

The “clothes that poke eye” is a literal translation of pakaian yang menjolok mata, which means revealing clothes in Bahasa Malaysia. Another error which made many people laugh: “After the withdrawal of British army, the Malaysian Government take drastic measures to increase the level of any national security threat”.

The Ministry attributed the mistakes to Google Translate which the agency used to translate the Bahasa content of the website. But when uppercaise used Google Translate to verify the statement of the Ministry, the free translation tool yielded different results

It’s bad enough that statements by the defence minister himself are much of a joke, but the dress code translation is hilarious.

This table consists of a few examples. Was Google at fault, or the ministry? Was the defence minister telling the truth, or trying to pass blame to others? When a govt lies about a small thing, can you trust them with big things?

From the website of Uppercaise

uppercaise wants the Minister to take responsibility for the mistakes

Apologists for politicians always make excuses to say the politician was misinformed. Just because someone lied to him and he in turn lies to the public does not excuse the lie. Ministers are responsible to the public for the conduct of their ministries. If a civil servant lied, he is disciplined. But it is the minister who takes the rap in public.

That’s how constitutional democracy works.

Khoo Kay Peng reminds the ministry to review its recruitment process

Minister Ahmad Zahid Hamidi should learn quickly that not everything can be ‘automated'. Language is not one of them. The minister should review his ministry's recruitment process and employ those who are really proficient in the English language or the very least employ those who can show some initiative to do any task right.

Yes, this is very embarrassing not only to Mindef but also to the government.

Ktemoc Konsiders advises the ministry to stick to Bahasa

I am personally aware of the Malaysian Ministry of Defence (Mindef) using Mangrish (Malaysian mangled English) on its website, as I had on a couple of occasions accessed it for some information, only to encounter such horrors. They would be better off sticking to only Bahasa.

As I See It wants the ministry to learn how to use Google Translate correctly

Please lah – don’t take us for idiots! Even if you use Google Translate – any person with average intelligence knows that it shouldn’t be used directly. It is important to fathom the linguistic context; otherwise you get phrases like the ones highlighted above! What’s more, you can still spot the errors before you upload the translated script onto the website – if you do actually check and double-check, that is. Unless, of course, you are asleep on the job.

Here are some reactions on Facebook. Eric Chin thinks the ministry should have approached a local agency instead of relying on Google Translate:

The question that simply begs to be asked is this : Why in God's name did the Ministry of Defence use Google Translate when they had the Institut Penterjemahan Negara at their disposal?

Mary-Ann Chong asks why the ministry couldn’t afford to hire a translator

Can't our Defense Ministry afford to pay for a translator instead of using Google Translate? Of all purposes and intent to 'save' public money they pick the one that they are least proficient at.

Mekanda Sandhu believes the issue reflects the poor bilingual standards in the country

The Star report on English translation of Defence Ministry's directive in BM prohibiting dress code “clothes that poke eye” is a sad reminder of our poor bilingual standards