This "illegal alien" costume was pulled from Target's shelves

One major blogosphere controversy occurred this Halloween over a costume that poked fun at undocumented immigrants (also referred to, often degradingly, as “illegal aliens”).  The costume, dubbed “Illegal Alien,” featured an orange prison jumpsuit, alien mask, and green card, and was initially sold at major retailers, until the League of United Latin American Citizens and other groups, lobbied for its removal.  Popular blog Sociological Images broke down what was wrong with the costume, saying:

Several stores, including Target, Walgreens, and Amazon.com, offered an “Illegal Alien” costume for sale.  The costume, which includes a orange (prison?) jumpsuit, a green card, and a space alien mask, conflates undocumented immigrants with aliens from outer space.

Amalia Pallares, writing for Dissident Voice, saw the costume's appearance as a teachable moment for her children, explaining:

The truth is that I know too many faces, too many names, too many stories of detention, deportation, family separation and pain to “get” the generic illegal alien joke. Perhaps you know some too. It is time to teach our children that there is nothing laughable about the uncertain fate of 12 million people and their families in a context of increasingly restrictive immigration policy, egregious human rights violations, massive fear, annual family separation and financial devastation of hundreds of thousands who are not wearing a mask, but are in fact exposed and vulnerable every day of their lives, cannot escape their circumstances, and cannot rely on the comfort provided by slipping out of a costume.

This Dorothy costume portrays Dorothy (of the Wizard of Oz) as a scantily-clad adult

The alien costume wasn't the only controversy this Halloween. Frustrated by the way women are portrayed in commercial Halloween costumes, a number of bloggers remarked on this year's selection.  Lisa at Sociological Images noticed that Halloween has adult women dressing as little girls dressing as adult women, providing several photographic examples, including the one to the right.  The blogger remarks:

The fact that many women dress up as sexy little girls points to both the sexualization of female children and the infantilization of adult women.

In yet another post, Lisa points out children's costumes that promote the sexualization of young girls.

Beyond the “illegal alien” issue, there were other costumes that got bloggers talking about racism this year.  Macon D of Stuff White People Do shared a bunch of pictures on his blog of racialized and racist Halloween costumes, and also shared a suggestion for readers:

So finally, if you're white, I have a suggestion. Aside from resisting any temptation you might have to somehow dress up like a member of another race or ethnic group — and thereby perpetuating stereotypes and running the risk of hurting other people — how would the following idea work for you?

If you meet a white friend or acquaintance who's dressed up that way, you could say this to them: “Wow, what a concept! Where'd you get the idea of dressing up like a racist dipshit?”

Angry Asian Man comments on this wig, among others

Famed blogger Angry Asian Man, in a guest post for Sociological Images, pointed out wigs for sale that turned Chinese people into racial caricatures:

But hey, why stop there? There are other fun and easy ways to be Chinese. Just try on the Chinese Man wig, “an ancient style with bald front and long pigtail in the back.” But even at the low sale price of $41.48, the Chinese Man wig might just be a little outside your budget. That’s okay, because the Bargain Chinese Man wig is also available for just $22.05. Because nobody should miss out on the racist mockery.

Native American blogger Whebr Hotub may have summed up the problem best in a blog post entitled, “My identity is not a costume for you to wear!”  A quote:

As a Native American, I am utterly appalled to see my culture lump together into some stereotypical Pan-Injun image, shipped and sold for the American masses to mimic my people and culture. I find it insulting my identity and heritage as a Native American, as a Navajo, is as easily acquired with few bucks, some nasty grease paint, and a loin cloth. That history of genocide and forced assimilation of Native Americans people in the US is not even an accessory to these supposed costumes! It's not important or even a consideration!!! What a privilege it must be to take the imagery of a people or culture without the social or historical baggage that goes along with it!

I hope you can understand my frustration; that the race and ethnicity of a group of people is not an acceptable Halloween costume!?

Situation

Rina has been married for 8 years and has a daughter in the third grade. She is getting divorced and recounts an early episode in her marriage that has stuck in her mind since then.

When their daughter was a baby, Rina became very run down from sleep deprivation due to her night crying. She fell sick with a high fever and wasn't in a state to take care of their baby girl but her husband refused to take paid leave or come home earlier than usual. Rina was extremely disappointed that he didn't even call. It took two months for her condition to improve and she can't forget how her husband didn't help out at all.

Question

ここういう状態の場合、会社を休めないまでもせめて定時で帰ってきてほしいというのはわがままでしょうか。

みなさんのご家庭はどうですか？妻が病気の時、夫は会社を休んで子供の世話をしてくれますか？また、会社で「妻が病気だから」と言って休んでいる人をどう思いますか？

Responses

Right away, many veteran mothers righteously posted stories of the times that they were sick and still dragged themselves out of bed to take care of themselves and their children without any help from their husbands - not that they expected or wanted help from them.

‘Married with two children' said:

インフルエンザで寝込んでいるときも、４０度の熱が三日間下がらない時も、一週間３８度から熱が下がらずいた時も夫に休んで欲しいと思ったことはありませんでした。夫の職種が営業だったので客先と約束があれば休めないのも仕方がないし、客先と急に約束が入ったら帰れないのも仕方がないので。会社に勤めてお給料を頂いている以上会社に損害を与えるような休暇をとれないのは当たり前。
トピ主様のご主人の業種がわかりませんが当人の体調不良と家族の体調不良はまた別でしょう。夫の風邪を理由に仕事を休む妻というのもありえないと思いますがどう思いますか？

Miri says you must consider your husband's reputation.

旦那さんのお仕事の形態にもよると思いますが、急なお休みは周りにとても迷惑をかける事となります。それに自分(妻）の管理が出来ていない事で夫の会社に迷惑をかけるなぞ夫の評価を下げる事と思って居ます。
妻が病気(入院する様な病気以外）夫が会社休むは普通とは思えません。ヘルパーさん頼むとか考えます。

Teardrop recalls a similar experience. Her husband went off to drink with his work buddies when she was sick, resulting in a huge fight.

でももっとびっくりしたのはこの話をした時の女性達の反応！「そんなことで・・・。」という反応なんですよね。ウチなんてもっとひどいわよ～って。
妻たちはみんなこういう仕打ちに慣れてしまって、感覚がマヒしてしまっているんだなぁって、悲しく思ったことを覚えています。
でもあれから数年・・・完全に私もマヒしてます。

Kanon says her husband shows his love in a different way.

夫の会社の激務や夫の社内での立場を思えば「体調悪いから帰ってきて！」とは言えません。私の体調の悪い時に夕飯を外で済ませてきてくれる。駅の自販機でポカリを買ってきてくれる。私にはそれだけで十分に優しい夫です。

‘Kengyo-shufu' (Working housewife) said:

ちゃんと仕事をしたことないから言える言葉だと思います。
ご主人だって休みたいんだと思います。でも休めないんですよ。自分が体調悪くて休むのは周りに風邪をうつしてはいけないとかそういったことではないですか?
簡単に休めないという現在の多くの日本の企業が問題だと思いますが休めないのが現実です。

Some are sympathetic, like nabe.

リナさんの言うことは正しいです。全然わがままではありません。
　私はもちろん休んでいます。 […] 妻が病気になっても働く時代は終わってます。
二人で力を合わせて生活守って時代です

Pochi is surprised at how harsh everybody is, and sarcastically asks if they work 15-16 hours each day of the year.

家族がせっぱつまった状態のときに、仕事のほうがどうにか都合がつきそうだったら、少々遅刻して病院につれていくとか、コンビニで食料を調達するとか、残業はせずに急いで帰ってくるとかするのは社会人失格？頭から「休めるわけない！！」と決めつけるのは、ストイックな姿を会社の人に見せたいから？自分の楽しみのために有給をとることもあるでしょう。（有給をとって友人とゴルフにいく上司をなんども見てます）

Tokumei says it depends on how sick you are and goes on to say:

結婚生活を快適に過ごすこつは、お互いに相手に期待しないことではないかともうすぐ銀婚式の私は思っています。期待すると裏切られたと思うし、期待しなければ些細な優しさもありがたく感じられます。再婚の際の参考までに

This is Echika's advice:

うちの会社の場合、男性が家庭の事情で会社を休むと、上司はあまりよく言いません。なので、私も自分の体調不良と偽って休暇をとり、妻の看病をしました。

‘Usuaji' says that this would be impossible at his/her company.

でも、文句を言い続けて一生夫婦であり続けることよりも、離婚と言う手段を選んだトピ主さんの勇気は素晴らしいと思います。

Nya says it can be bothersome but men are not good at guessing what women want, unless it's spelled out.

妻が病気の時、「食事を作るのは難しいだろうから、外食して帰るよ」という夫さん、よくいますよ。高熱で起きられない妻の食事は??思いつきません。面倒だけど「作れないのでコレコレを買ってきて(何か買ってとまかせると、こってりしたコンビニ弁当とか買ってきてしまう)」

It must be noted that Hatsugen Komachi is very female oriented or even housewife oriented. An interesting tangent to this story is that reactions from Hatena, a much more male oriented community, was totally different (There is no job in the world that's more important than the health of myself or my family. 自分、もしくは家族の健康にも優先する仕事なんてこの世に一つもない。) as was the discussion on the professional SNS LinkedIn (login required: Japanese Businesspeople Even Sacrifice His & Her Families) but that's a story for another day.

As he went to retrieve his package at the post office:

it had been opened by various puzzled customs and postal employees who, at a loss, defined the product in writing as “containing an unknown red liquid” – and awaited my description.

 
He told them it was “cinematographic make-up” and took the item home:

Such is the “hymen”: a 5×7cm folded piece of plastic – of albumin, the notice promptly corrects me – covered on one side by dark red ink. Placed in the vagina before sex, the plastic hardens slightly, and rips upon intercourse. A few drops of “blood” will stain the sheets, preserving the woman's, her family's, or society's “honour”.

Whether it does actually work or not I cannot answer. The complete absence of medical information on the product, as well as online accusations that this product can cause infections, made me unwilling to give it to a volunteer to test.

Mona El Tahawy did not like how Egyptians were hot and bothered over fake hymensWith all the troubles Egypt faces these days — spiralling cost of living, a president in power for 28 years whose son looks likely to succeed him, etc. — why all the fuss over hymens, real or fake?

Welcome to the hypocrisy and denial that together drum at the heart of conservative religious views on women and chastity. And in the case of Egypt, that conservatism applies equally to Muslims and Christians.

As a Muslim, I know the Qur’an preaches chastity for men and women, but the conservative obsession with women means only females are expected to abide by the prohibition on extramarital sex. This obsession with virginity is shallow at best and deadly at worst.

Mohamed El Rahhal strongly condemns:

the hypocrisy that allows us to discriminate against 50% of the society while giving a free pass to the other half. I am against forcing women to go such lengths, sometimes endangering their health, to allow us to delay a long-awaited national moratorium on gender relations.

Morality is worst interpreted by anatomy. And if we're waiting upon a small piece of plastic to define morality, then we've already failed – and ought to find a better definition.